SEX NO BAR.

While India now brags about not caring if it’s a baby boy or baby girl, the reality seems to be an anti-parallel. The fight to get rights for the LGBT (Lesbian,Gay,Bisexual,Transgender) community rages on but it seems like a far away dream considering the fact that we don’t understand gender at all.

 

This is something I read in Humans of New York some time back.

I remember taking an anthropology class in college and the professor was explaining that there is little sexual dimorphism in humans. He meant that there are few outward,observable differences between males and females.At that time I was confused,so I raised my hand. ‘I feel like it’s very easy to tell a man and woman apart.’, I said.

‘That’s due to culture.’, he answered.

Really though, If you think about the outward appearance of a XY(male) and XX(female) human, you will find not more than 2-3 differences at maximum. Those too may vary;becoming less, but never more.

 

It all starts with a room. Pink if it’s a girl. Blue if it’s a boy. Then the toys; a kitchen set for a girl and hot wheels for a boy. A jewelry making set for a girl and a football for a boy. Girls have a nice handwriting. Girls are good at art, more meticulous, more organised. Boys are more logical.

Why do we still hear these things despite there being evidences against the same?

 

Why is it so important for us for a man and woman to look a certain way?

In this article I want to particularly stress and highlight upon two of the things we have been doing wrong when it comes to our annual shows in school/colleges.

The taller you are, the closer you become to looking like a man.

In a dance, whenever there is a deficit of boys, the taller girl becomes a boy and the shorter girl becomes a girl. This would seem appropriate if you were dancing to a song in the Stone age era where men used to be taller considering their role in the society.

Our childhood revolves around Complan, Bournvita, Horlicks. We compete with each other as kids boasting about our heights but ,why does puberty hitting us send our brains into a frenzy? Suddenly being taller than a guy becomes an awkward thing for a girl.

If we think realistically, people come in different heights and it doesn’t seem right for someone tall to play a guy and someone short to play a girl when a class has  short boys, short girls, tall boys and tall girls.

The girl becomes the boy but the boy never becomes the girl.

Being someone who has become a guy several times for a role in a play, I speak from my experience when I say this. I have never, ever, ever seen a guy become a girl for a role. As girls we don’t feel that embarrassed to look like a man as a guy would probably feel to look like a lady. No one teased me when I drew a mustache on my face to play a man but If a guy puts on some lipstick or make up for his role even as a man he will get teased endlessly. It doesn’t seem like a big deal when it is taking place but if you really think about it, What message are we sending out? Is looking like a girl (even when it is just pretense) something to be embarrassed about? What is wrong with looking like a girl? It doesn’t change your gender. It does not change your identity.

 

The topic of gender, seems like a very small problem when you look at all the problems in the world. However, these are the problems which we don’t seem to notice that get filtered down into the thoughts of people. What we think of our gender and our sexuality becomes a part of our identity, something that is the very basis of our thoughts and existence.

 

What we must start realizing is that the world is changing. Everyday men and women both break barriers. Barriers that were set for their genders.

‘You can’t do that. Only a guy does that.’

‘What are you doing? Are you a girl?’

Let us stop using phrases like these.

We, as the developed human beings that we are, need to break beyond the shackles of stereotypical gender roles and develop skill sets not according to our genitals but according to our needs and talents.

To achieve that, we must change the way we portray ideas related to gender and teach our kids that sex is not a bar to take up a hobby that the opposite sex mostly engages in.

It is okay to look like the opposite gender. You are not what you look like. You are what you decide to become.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Review: The Inability of Words by Harnidh Kaur.

“Every word you say has

been coloured by the pain

and injustices you’ve felt”

 

Harnidh Kaur says her journey with poetry began when she started writing angst-ridden teenage pieces to her mother. I have never read those pieces but I have read the outcome of the blood, sweat and sinew bundled up in this beautiful book. A poetess who claims that creativity is something you need to work upon every single day, released her first book- ‘The Inability of Words’,a must read, in July.

The book is draped in a beautiful cloth material with the title in golden. It is available in a variety of colors such as Green, Purple, Pink, Orange, Brown, Peach and a few more. Gone are the days when we were told not to judge a book by it’s cover. The cover,in my opinion, speaks a lot about the writer’s style, adding a little extra to the content and making the experience of reading a lot better.

The book is an amalgam of various things explored by the poetess throughout her life yet. The major themes I personally observed in the book were about Relationships and Life Lessons that we can only learn from experience.Love and Family also occupy a large chunk of the book making it beautifully relatable.

The poem ‘Halfways’ was a clear show of how Harnidh often sees things that others don’t. The beautiful imagery  painted in the poems( My favourite being Stained) is just enough to make you feel warm and fuzzy.

My personal favorites are  Gesture , Reorganizing , Doubt, Relativity, Halfways, Underwhelmed, Mediums, A letter to someone, Punctuation Bonfires, Retrouvailles ,Kintsukuroi, Cursive, Connections and Of Aunts.

Her goal is to make poetry sexy and relevant again and we hope to see more of her in the years to come.


Rated 5/5 on Goodreads.

 

Ashamed of menstruating?

Standing in the line of the girls washroom, I wait for my turn. Tapping my feet with impatience. A girl is combing her hair in front of the mirror.

Finally, it’s my turn. I go in and I am greeted by two used sanitary napkins,displayed on the toilet window, a sanitary napkin wrapper lying on the wet floor.

Some people say the world is changing. Are we really?

I come out of the stall and notice that there is no dustbin in the washroom.

No dustbin? In a girls washroom?

There’s a dustbin just outside but not many girls would dare to approach it.

WHAT IF SOMEONE SEES ME THROW A PAD IN THE DUSTBIN WHERE IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE THROWN. OH NO! INSTEAD, LET ME PUT IT IN THE TOILET WINDOW FOR THE OTHER GIRLS TO SEE AND SMELL.

LET THE BACTERIA GROW IN ALL IT’S GLORY.

Story time for educated people:

Some theories say that we evolved from apes, some say we resemble chimpanzees. Doesn’t matter whichever theory you personally support, we are all primates and primates menstruate.

It is not a big secret.

Girls and transgender men get periods.Accept the biology!

It is not something to be ashamed of. You know it, I know it, everyone outside the washroom knows it.

Keep a dustbin in every bathroom, wrap your used pads in a newspaper/other packaging and dispose it off in a dustbin.

If the dustbin is outside, do not be ashamed to go outside and dispose it off.

Keep the country clean!

 

 

 

Kho Kho.

Looking back I now realize that I was sporty even though I was never really good at any sport. My favorite class in school wasn’t PE. It surprised me how much my friends really wanted to get on the ground form two teams and play handball or basketball. In fact, I dreaded the PE period. The only sport I played was throwball. Getting graded based on how fast I complete six rounds around the school building? No, thank you. Any sport that requires eye and hand coordination doesn’t require a player like me! The only sport I am relatively good at is Swimming which a lot of people don’t consider to be a sport. ( It is a sport.)

Despite my distaste for shooting hoops and tackling tall girls who don’t pass the ball what I really miss from my childhood is playing Kho Kho. You don’t have to assess the speed of anything approaching you. In my mind, I associate Kho Kho with freedom. The sheer joy of running around and yelling in excitement coupled with lots of adrenaline to try and not get out. I remember taking a trip with a few family friends where we played Kho Kho and it was played between two generations.

Another happy memory is when our chemistry teacher declared that she wasn’t going to take a test on writing formulas of compounds and then took us all down to play an eventful game of Kho Kho. We came back all sweaty but our faces were beaming with joy and liberation.

When life gets hard and tough to handle I think of this one moment where I don’t have to worry about an exam or any other important issue.

So call your friends and play Kho Kho.

Make Spit while the sun shines!

Mumbaikars, forever stuck in an angsty teen rebel stage like to live life on their own terms! First came buying of Maggi packets before they go off shelves so you can stock them up and eat it despite being hazardous, then came the meat ban that raised a lot of voices, then came the rumour of alcohol ban and then came the four tough days where people weren’t allowed to consume meat to respect someone’s cultural practices. We saw it all, we abused, we wrote, We spoke, we protested, we spat in disgust. Hold on, hold your spit in because spitting might soon cost you a lot more than pneumonia or other respiratory tract diseases.

While travelling in an auto rickshaw in the suburbs of Mumbai my rickshaw was stuck in a never ending signal in front of IIT Mumbai. The driver took this oppurtunity to bring out the Leonardo Di Caprio within him, took a long drag and spat his chest out on the road. Disgusted by the sticky sight I gasped and clenched my teeth holding back my vomit. I decided to educate my auto driver and told him not to spit. “You will have to pay a thousand rupees fine and work at a government office for a day and the penalty keeps increasing if you are caught again after that.”

He smirked and looked at me through the mirror as if indirectly conveying that he already knew the rules and said, ” Don’t worry Madam, the police has a holiday today. No one’s going to catch me today.”

Gone Girl: Review. (No spoilers)

I read Gone Girl in the first week of August 2015 and realised that it was different from the stuff that I’ve read before. I purchased the book because it was already over-hyped having received the title of  ‘Thriller of the year’.

Gone girl written by Gillian Flynn is a thriller published back in 2012 but gained a lot of fame after it’s movie release. The story begins with Amy Dunne, our protagonist, disappearing on the morning of her fifth wedding anniversary. The major suspect her husband claims that he isn’t responsible for it. However, others have some different things to say about their marriage.

The book has been divided into two parts. The first part of the book has been written from the perspective of both Amy and Nick Dunne, her husband. Nick talks about the present while Amy talks about the past through her daily journal entries showing a wide contrast.

The story encounters a variety of themes such as dishonesty, money problems, extra marital affairs making the reader question his/her own plans about marriage.

The book is known for it’s disappointing end which will make readers question what love really is all about. A confusing read. Gripping and breath taking.

The kind of book that you will either hate or love and will have to read on your own to form an opinion about.

image